I’ve heard many people — clients, friends, colleagues — speak about their desire to be a poster child. When I ask what that means, the answers are familiar: I wanted to make my parents proud. I set these aspirations for myself. But when I press further — where did these aspirations originate? — often there is silence, sometimes even a tear. And I remind them gently: it’s okay. The modern meaning of “poster child” is someone seen as the perfect example of a quality, condition,

The moment you hand it over to someone else—whether it’s a partner, boss, friend, or even your children—you’re not just giving them...